Every mistake is a coaching opportunity

We all make mistakes, regardless of who we are, what we do, or how many credentials adorn our walls. Mistakes aren't a bug in the human system: they're a feature. Indeed, in coaching, mistakes are integral to developing mastery.

To err is human

Rooted in the Latin errare, the Italian word for mistake (errore) originally means "to wander." It suggests deviation from a norm rather than a fundamental failure to grasp reality. It speaks to the quality of the journey itself.

Yet somewhere along the way, we've learned to stigmatize these inevitable wanderings off the path. We've transformed information into shame, opportunity into failure, and normalcy into inadequacy.

Embracing the beginner mindset

My mentees often arrive at our sessions feeling frazzled: "I asked the wrong question," they confess.

I reassure them that in coaching, there are no wrong questions, if anything, only longer roads or less direct paths to a result.

The coaching mindset requires what Zen practitioners call "Shoshin" — beginner's mind. When we make mistakes, we're naturally humbled back into a state of not-knowing, which is precisely where curiosity thrives.

As coaches, we might ask a client a question which isn’t effective in the moment, but it’s what we do with their response that transforms the exchange. Their response gifts us a golden opportunity to craft a highly targeted question or observation. Here’s the beautiful part: the client will keep circling back to what truly matters to them. We just need to pay attention.

Mistakes are important information

Our mistakes also signal what needs attention in our coaching practice. They are not evidence of incapacity, but a spotlight illuminating what hasn't been fully internalized yet. When we reframe errors this way, they become valuable data rather than sources of embarrassment.

The coaching mindset is fundamentally about learning within relationships. Every "wrong" question becomes a live case study in human communication. When a coach notices their question creates confusion rather than clarity, they're witnessing the gap between their internal map and the client's reality. This gap is where the real coaching happens – in the space between intention and impact.

Mistakes are opportunities for reflection

When we wander off the expected path, we're also compelled to pause and survey our surroundings. 

Where am I?
How did I arrive here?
What perspectives does this unexpected vantage point offer that I couldn't access from the main road? 

This reflection often reveals our learning patterns, our natural strengths, and yes, our growth edges.

Presence Through Imperfection

It is crucial that we normalise and embrace our errant wandering. Our mistakes aren’t something to avoid; they are waypoints we can leverage for growth.

Paradoxically, the coach who is comfortable in making mistakes often becomes more present, not less so. 

They're not mentally rehearsing the perfect next question when they ought to be actively listening. They aren’t protecting their image of competence. Instead, they're available to what's emerging in the moment, including the unexpected detours that mistakes create.

Modelling Vulnerability Creates Psychological Safety

When coaches can hold their own mistakes lightly – not defensively, not with shame, but with interest – they create psychological safety for their clients. 

The coach who asks: "That question didn't land the way I intended – what did you hear in it?" demonstrates that imperfection is not only acceptable but valuable. 

This modelling gives clients permission to explore their own uncertainties without fear of judgment.

The Meta-Skill of Recovery

Perhaps most importantly, learning to work skillfully with mistakes develops what might be called the meta-skill of coaching.

We can learn to harness whatever arises and use it as material for deeper exploration, transforming our missteps into moments of deep connection and learning.

The best coaches aren’t the ones who never make mistakes, they’re the ones who have learned to make mistakes beautifully, turning each wandering into wisdom.

Making our mistakes a coaching superpower

The question isn’t whether you’ll make mistakes, because you will. We all will.

The questions that matter are: 

What will you do when you find yourself wandering off the expected path?

Will you interpret this as evidence of your inadequacy, or as valuable intelligence about your journey? 

Will you rush back to the main road (in shame), or pause to understand what this temporary detour might illuminate?

In my experience, profound learning doesn’t happen when I avoid wandering, but when I embrace it as essential to finding my way.

In coaching, and in life, our mistakes don't define our destination: they refine our navigation.

If you join my ICF-accredited Level 3 ‘Mastery in Coaching’ programme, we will reflect on  how to transform ‘mistakes’ into powerful tools for growth, thereby developing greater mastery in your coaching practice. The 15-week course is a personalised learning pathway tailored around your development goals, including strategies for breaking down any barriers you may have around making mistakes. We’ll also explore how to repair moments of rupture in client sessions, ways to enhance your self-awareness, and how to deeply trust in the coaching abilities you already have.