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When breaking the coaching “rules” creates breakthroughs

Camilla Cesari·Jan 20, 2026· 6 minutes

Should you ever interrupt a client during a coaching session? I recently polled coaching practitioners and the results were telling: zero votes for interrupting. This got me thinking: are we too rigidly attached to our coaching rules, and is this at the expense of impactful coaching moments? 

Coaching beyond the client story

A colleague recently told me that, in their coaching school, they were taught to interrupt clients when they go into stories. This raises the question: how do we distinguish between a valuable use of time in coaching and a story?

As one of the coaches I polled pointed out, “Everything a client shares is a story.”

Another colleague, Master Certified Coach Rishi, challenges the coaching approach of staying within the story. In fact, he suggests that we work at a "meta-ontological” level. 

This approach aligns beautifully with the International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) Core Competency 7: ‘Evokes Awareness’, because this way, the coach invites clients to explore the lens through which they observe their situation.

By shifting our focus from the content to bring attention to the structure and meaning-making patterns, as coaches, we can support a client to gain deeper insight into their worldview and self-identity.

Funnily enough, Rishi mentioned that he rarely, if ever, encountered a coach using this powerful frame (and his comment both surprised me and made me think). 

Does interrupting lead to client breakthroughs? 

Following the poll, I asked the coaches how they interact when clients are sharing stories. Our discussion was incredibly rich and nuanced. 

One colleague replied: "Why would I want to interrupt when I have so many better options?" Their position was that if "story" means anything not happening here-and-now, then language itself is story. 

Distinguishing what serves the client from our own value judgments is a challenging part of our profession. The skill lies in navigating these complex situations, then reflecting on our choices to refine our practice. I asked this coach to explore how they might recognise when a client is narrating, rather than staying present. 

The point is, that coaching requires us to choose an approach, even when another option may be equally valuable and useful to the client. 

There isn’t always a right way and a wrong way, which is why we must distinguish between style and competence. Assessors are trained to be open minded when faced with these stylistic differences, so that we don’t overcorrect valid approaches.

Intuition is integral to the work of developing coaching mastery. The shift from PCC to MCC calls us to let go of control and trust in our abilities, but to do so with awareness and a commitment to self-reflection.

Another practitioner shared that they would interrupt, if they sensed it would serve the client:

"I listen to my intuition and take the next step based on that. Sometimes it's a reflective question, sometimes it's holding space, sometimes it's a gentle interruption. The skill is in knowing which serves the moment.”

I asked this coach to consider how they use their intuition to read moments and decide when it is helpful to intervene. 

It isn’t always easy to tell whether we are joining the flow or breaking it when we interrupt, and the higher we reach in our coaching profession, the less we can rely on our support structures to give us right or wrong answers. Sometimes breaking the flow is a choice we take on purpose. 

It is important that we trust and keep observing how the client is responding to us. “Being with what emerges” holds immensely more value and information than “doing it right”. 

The way we frame an interruption also matters. One of the coaches I polled shared that they use a multi-level awareness technique:

"I listen at 6 levels and ask questions just below the deepest level they speak, recognizing that stories, metaphors, and examples often hold the gold.” 

This approach can invite clients to explore themes they are already discussing at deeper levels of meaning.

Deciding when to use strategic interruption

Really, the question isn't whether to interrupt, but how to support clients in developing awareness and choice. 

When done skillfully, interruption becomes a powerful coaching tool for creating client breakthroughs.

Strategic interruption can also be used to help clients return to the present moment, develop self-observation skills and notice recurring themes or blindspots. For example, exploring which narrative patterns may point to limiting beliefs or a habitual way of making meaning.

In this sense, interruption is not about control. It is about service: serving the client’s awareness, not the coach’s preferences.

Why coaching rules should be flexible

The problem with rigid frameworks is they create artificial constraints which prevent coaches from responding to what's actually happening in the session. 

Prescriptive rules like "you must interrupt" or “you should never interrupt” fundamentally miss what coaching is about. 

Stories might be avoidance, but they could also hold essential information about the client's worldview identity, and meaning-making. They might need exploration or meta-reflection.

There is no one way.

Developing your coaching style

Coaching artistry requires presence, skill, and courage: qualities that no fixed rule can replace. This meta-level awareness work is so inherent to our profession that it simply cannot be overlooked. 

That’s why I introduce this concept early in the developmental journey for coaches on my ICF-accredited Level 3 training course, "Mastery in Coaching." Regardless of coaching approach or philosophy, this skill is essential for any coach progressing toward mastery.

Questions for coaches

If no coaches in my poll voted for strategic interruption, are we over-subscribing to a "never interrupt" rule? Are we missing opportunities to create profound awareness shifts?

What's your experience? Have you found moments where a well-timed interruption created breakthrough awareness for your client?

True coaching emerges from moment-to-moment discernment about what serves the client, not from following a predetermined model or our own agenda. It happens when the coach is fully present and attuned to what wants to happen, rather than imposing what “should” happen. 

If you're ready to develop mastery in your coaching skills:

Explore the Level 3 course here